PHOTO CREDIT: http://europuppyblog.com
Written by Robb Fladry
Visiting the dog track has always been one of those things I have thought about but never done. I put it up there with buying prescription drugs in Mexico and visiting a brothel in Las Vegas; legal but frowned up. I’ve always thought of the dog track as a seedy place and more so a ‘poor man’s’ horse track – though I’ve never actually been to a horse track either. Now that I’ve visited a dog track I can safely say it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be going in.
Arriving at the dog track I was blown away at the number of cars in the parking lot. I assumed there was going to be a handful of creepy uncles in the parking lot but that was about it. After noticing the neon lights and snapping a quick picture on my phone, I entered and saw a sign that said free admittance and another that said betting sheets $1.25. I figured I needed a betting guide book and went ahead and started the money losing process. I also noticed a tip cup.. great.. two dollars down.
Upon walking down what seemed to be a runway almost pouring onto the track itself I noticed the scoreboard. The scoreboard reminded me of the first time I saw a college football game and I couldn’t help but wonder about the poor guy who had to climb the sign to change lightbulbs when they would go out. I wouldn’t want that job, no way. After staring at the sign and still having no idea what the numbers and spaces were for, I started wondering why in hell everything in Florida has to have a palm tree in it somewhere. It’s a requirement, I just don’t get it.
So the first race went on and I was pretty underwhelmed with the actual act of dog racing. I guess I thought beforehand that it should be like Nascar and they should complete 500 laps. Yes, I understand this is totally unrealistic and would kill the animals, but this is where my mindset was. I then began to notice my surroundings a bit more and took notice to the people standing outside. Not as creepy as I was led to believe. Then I decided to go inside for a tasty snack.
This is where I noticed the large bank of televisions and the people hovering over them as if they were reading porno magazines in middle school. Old men sitting there with piles of tickets on the table in front of them having no expression on their face whatsoever. At this point I really didn’t want to make eye contact, I really wanted some nachos. After eating my nachos I figured it was time to bet. I had to get some explanation on what to tell the guy at the counter, but soon after a short lesson I was ready to proceed. I bet two dollars on someone to win, it doesn’t matter who, as that two dollars was gone rather quickly.
I was destined to not let the loss get me down, and figured I should try some of the other fancy betting methods I had been hearing so much about in this fancy betting book that cost seventy-five cents more than it should. The trifecta, that sounded pretty sweet, regardless of what it really was. Two more dollars, another race. I picked these dogs by pure aesthetic reasoning; they were all black. I realize the irony; I was about to make a bet based on a line in a Wesley Snipes movie. I made the bet, once again after some pre-bet coaching. This time I won. Holy crap, I’m a winner.
After collecting my winnings, a sweet $18 and some change, I decided to sit out a few races. I noticed more people and they all looked the same, desperate. This was the general overview and not everyone I encountered. I did see some guys there that seemed like they were on their first trip to the dog track as well, but they had fancy watches, so maybe not. I observed the lack of females at the track. I assume thats common, but I would have never thought beforehand.
During my trip to the dog races I did have to relieve myself. Standing at the urinal doing my business a guy comes up the spot next to me and decides to start up a conversation. Wow, is this really happening? So while there I learned about some race that involved winning a free entry to a $10,000 race and getting a twelfth spot in the olympics. I really have no idea what was happening but I shook my head and tried to hurry. I did the quick handwash and tried to lose this guy with the not so awesome magnum p.i. mustache. Too late, he followed me out and I realized he didn’t wash his hands. Luckily I found a classmate and could strike up a conversation.
After my one win I decided to bet a few more times, hoping my dogs would come in, no such luck. I then read about the trifecta box on the back of the score booklet. Seemed like a smart idea, I didn’t have to pick an order the dogs came in. 6-1-5. This was an easy pick because I was told 6 & 5 were possibly the fastest dogs ever, the 1 came into play based on the Nashville area code. Easy. The race started and 6 & 5 were doing great. Number 1, not so much. He (or she) tripped in some fashion and didn’t make it, coming in last place. Number 8 took the third spot, oh well I thought. That was until I saw the winnings would have totaled $30,000 if I did my math correctly. Only if I had a time traveling delorian.
Towards the end of the night I had two of the $1 cheeseburgers based upon Zach’s recommendation. Score. Those things were easily worth $2. I’m a sucker for food, especially of the fair persuasion. I was not let down by the dog track food, though I plan to return simply for the fact that I want to try the derby dog. Overall I enjoyed my dog track experience and wouldn’t mind going back and taking my wife. This says a lot because I know I can be protective of places where the creepy men gather, so the dog track somehow wins an odd seal of approval. I do want to return when it is warmer and I wonder if maybe someday I will adopt a greyhound myself.
Derby Lane
10490 Gandy Blvd.
St. Petersburg, FL 33702-2395
Telephone Number
(727) 812-3339
(Via Our Radiant Tampa.)
